I've lived my whole life this way, in these fits and starts. Sometimes I get lost too long in the stagnancy, but that usually only results in a bigger leap when I get moving. Almost like I'm overcompensating. And here I go again. I've started the beginning phases of some things that- hopefully- will make my life a hell of a lot more fun in the long run. Yes, these baby steps totally suck at the moment. Wait, that's not fair. They don't all suck. In fact, some of them feel pretty adventurous.
The first baby step was, indeed, sucky. I gave up my cat. Yes, the cat that I so gushingly go on about a couple of posts before this one. I love her. I miss her. But I was a bad mommy. My work schedule kept getting worse and worse, and no matter how much time I gave Lola it wasn't enough. I didn't have enough. It would have been mean and selfish to keep her. So I gave her up to someone that I greatly trust (when it comes to cats, anyway) and she's happy as a clam. She loves it there. I'm sad she had to move again and get used to a new place, but I had to do what's best for her.
Baby Step #2: I'm giving up my apartment. I've found a roommate, and we're looking for a place at the moment. I want to live somewhere cheaper because of the next step.
The third step- wait, no. This one is a giant baby running jump. I'm going back to school. Or hoping to, anyway. I'm really nervous they won't accept me and I'll have to do a city college for a year before I try again. And it's really not a great time to go back and work less and pay assloads of money. But. There will never be a great time. I'm doing it now. I'm tired of waiting. I am one of those geeks who really REALLY loves going to school. I would be a professional student if they never expected repayment of the damn student loans. So I'm doing it. I'll have to cut back on everything that makes life worth living, but what the hell.
Is it pathetic that I'm ridiculously excited about buying a new backpack?
